The Hottest Groups in the World

Going out to see some music tonight. Apparently people aren't wearing "trucker caps," or at least the true "hipsters" aren't, or at least the one person who bothered to post anything on this board doesn't.

Fuck it. I don't even bother to wear caps of any kind anymore, because it might mess up my totally ghey hair. If I had a coonskin cap, I might wear one, but that might require carrying some kind of stupid firearm around to shoot "varmints," as it were, and these days shlepping around a gun on city streets might not be a really keen idea.

Anyway, if anyone reads this by, oh, August, are there any good and devilish shows to hit this weekend? I'm totally clueless, as my "hipster" friends are wont to remind me, as it were.

Carl's Jr: Fuck You, I'm Eating!

Go 'way. 'Batin. Dude, your chart here says you're fucked up, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. But don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kickass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now. Comin' up next on The Violence Channel: An all-new "Ow, My Balls!"

OK, I'll shut up with the quotes now. Can you guess which fine cinematic masterpiece they're nicked from?

Oh. Yeah. None of you trucker cap-wearing hipster fucksticks post here. Sorry. I just need you to tell me how to get to the time machine.

Oh, that's easy. You go down by the museum and stuff ... It's like- it's, like, by the museum ... Sorta by ... Actually, not really. More like on the street, you go, um ... Wait, let me start over. Okay, you know where the time machine is?

Let's Not Posting!

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